March 4, 2009

fantasy part 12

Rashed was going to London for 3 months for a training job, and we had decided that once he was back we would make things official between us. I focused on my studies while Jas drooled over Mish3al, he truly was great we saw him on a daily basis and he was ever so attentive to Jas and her demands. My parents were going away for a few days, their second honey moon as they called it.

"ishrayik insawe 7afla?"


"walla jd, we have common friends lets have them over for a dinner, it wont be a party but we will have music"

My brother was right, we did have common friends, and we had never done such a thing it might actually be fun. That week we called up our friends, decided on the food and the music we were having the party on Thursday since it was a public holiday.

Incoming Call Rashody


"Hala galby, shlnoch?"

"zaina, inta shlonik?"


"ana akthar"

"7beebty intay, shbtsween hal weekend?"

"Bader, Jas and I are having a dinner for some friends, I wish you were here so I could show you off infront of my friends"

"ilayam yaya inshalah"


"5ala9 ya 3umry ana ma a6wil 3laich, bs knt aby asma3 9outich, msg me when your party is done"

"inshalah, bye 7beeby"


I was overjoyed that Rashed called me, that I managed to over look that fact that he called me from his Kuwaiti number and not his UK number.

We got ready and our guests started to slowly roll in. Samar introduced me to a girl whom apparently was in a class with me, her name was Fa6ma.

"Jema, honey this is Fa6ma, her sister works with me"

"Hala Fa6ma, shlonich?"

"il7imdillah Zaina, intay shloonich?"

"Tamam il7imdilah"

We started talking and I found out she was in my management class. Samar asked me about Rashed, and I explained to her who he was and this is what she said.

"that is so strange, he sounds exactly like my boyfriend"

I brushed off that small remark, it was mere coincidence.

It was dinner time, and Jas was playing the amazing host shmozing with the guests, and of course showing off her better accessory her fiance, Mish3al.

"Guess who?" A familiar voice announced from behind me, I knew who it was. My heart stopped.


"7beebty, I wanted to suprise you and I was glad when it didnt click with you inna I called min 5a6y ilkuwaiti"

"Oh my god, 9aa7 mastaw3bt!"

"Thats why I loved you, I missed you, everyday I was away I missed you more and more"

"Ya galby ana ily I missed you, it sucks here without you"

"We finished early, that is why I am back, and now we can make things official baina, and btkoneen 7alaly, aboosich kither ma aby"

"hahaha yal shai6an, yala baby lets eat I am hungry"

We were making our way to the buffet when we heard.


Rashody? Did I hear that correctly?

"Uh, Fa6ma, ehnee, ishtabeen? theba7tny"

"I was invited, 7imdilah 3la samtik 7beeby, what are you doing here? and why havent you called me?"

"Um, Rashed, whats going on baby?"

"Baby, sweetie he is mine....this is my boyfriend!"

"This is MY fiance"

"E7a9ulich Rashood"

"Rashed, could you please say something" Samar interuptted

"Yes I can, emshaw inrou7 foug"

We headed to the upstairs living room. Yes, I was mad, furious but I did not let him go, I needed the support because all I could think about at that point was...its happening to me again, finally I find a man he is great and now he has a girlfriend?

"Fa6oom, 2lf mara gaylich its was over a year ago, it was over 6 months ago, it was over before I left to London and guess what ITS STILL OVER, shtaben yaya bait 5a6enty jidam rabi3na, fe'9a7tena"

"Rashed, 7beeby adree you need time to think about things, and adree she is just a fling bs laish itgu9 3laiha o itgolaha ina you will marry are suppose to marry me.....please marry me"
she broke down in tears "MA AGDAR AHIDIK...A7IBIK.....WALA IN MA TIZAWJTNY 9ADGENY RA7 TINDAM....wala ma ahidha kil MAYET 3laiha bl jam3a...laish ma t5aleny a5ithik inta"

"Fa6ma I think you should leave" Samar said


"Ha, mu bkaifich yala bly 7af'6ich"

"Rashed please, just think about it....please 3la shany!"

"Fa6ma 5ala9 yuba rou7ay"

Fa6ma left but her words stayed ringing in my mind. She did not seem like she was ready to let go of him, its been a year and she still has not let go of him.

"Baby, Jema, I am so sorry 7beebty, umy intay please sam7eny wala I thought I was done with her"

"But she called you before you left to London?"

"She called o 3baly taby shay ana knt ib London already fa I told walla nothing is going on"


"Baby, Jema....lets enjoy ourselves okay?"

"Um, inzain let me freshen up shway o anzil, Samar come with me please"

We headed over to my room, before the door shut I slammed to the floor.

"I cant Samar walla I cant, astgfar allah laish kil shay e9erly? ana shsawait? wala I am a good person, laish kil il mu9ayeb it9erly ana.....I knew he was too good to be true!"

"t3withay mn iblees Jema, nothing is wrong with him, it was a misunderstanding mithel ma shfaty"

"bs you heard her, she wont leave us alone, she is in class with me she could do anything"

"Do you want me to talk to her sister?"

"a5af her sister doesnt know"

"Okay w7na shako, ana agoulaha your sister is a psycho"

"hahaha Samar!"

"Jema, hun, lata7rimena min hal ' are finally happy, you are finally at ease and comfort with yourself, and Rashed is great mama dont let him go!"


"yala gomay freshen up o come back down and enjoy your party and the food, I made chocolate cake 7g mino?"


"and the guests, bs okay 7gich"

"hahah wain Fawaz?"

"He had a dinner bs he should be on his way now"

"okay yalla emshay"

We went back down to our guests and I stood next to Rashed as he made small talk with everyone, yes I wanted to be with Rashed, yes I couldnt wait to start our lives together but something was just not right. I knew that was not the end of Fa6ma, she has been chasing him for a year, she wouldnt just give up.

I was terrified of what Sunday was going to bring.

March 3, 2009

fantasy part 11

I saw Rashed 3 times a week, sometimes more it all depended on his work schedule. We were not a mushy couple, we said "I love you" once and never again and that is not because we did not mean it, we showed it as opposed to saying it.


"Shfeek 3umry, you sound tired"

"ee walla minshili5 min ildawam 9ij ta3ban"

"a5aleek itnam"

"la ana raye7 ilshalaih, I took 3 days off fa bag3ad ehnak"

"Ya3nee mny shyftitik?

"7beebty embala aby shofich bs wala ma feny, 9ij ta3ban bacher inshalah I promise you!"

"um inzain can I pass by? I really miss you..."

"Akeed 7beebty 7yach, ana ma knt aby agolich I did not want to offend you ya galby"

"okaay ana yaya al7een"

His shalaih was around Samar's which was perfect. I know what you are all thinking, ehya she puts herself in these situations going over to men's places alone, but you need to understand I was in love, and Rashed and I were never sexual, we barely did anything other than holding hands I hadnt even kissed him yet. I parked my car and headed over to the front door, I walked in and called out for him, he notioned for me to join him outside. He had the grill on and 2 steaks on it.

"how do you like your steak?"

"Medium well please, im starving!"

"adree 7as feech"

"Aby something to drink"

"I just stocked up, yebely Pepsi ma3ach please"

"inshalah 7beeby!"

After dinner, we snuggled up into a one seater.


"la inkafy, mo ibkaifich ta3aly"

"ahahha Rashody"

"3yona, thank you for coming walla you just made my day!"

"that is what I am here for, girlfriend ib balash"

"hahaha ta3aly"

He pulled me closer to his chest, I heard his heart beats fluttering.

"Can you feel my heart?"

"Ee shfeek?"

"Its always like this when you are close"

I looked up into his eyes, he was a good man I man I could depend on, a man who could carry me through life I hated his work schedule, would I be willing to put up with it?

"Jema dont over think, ily alah katba ra7 e9eer"

" did you know?"

"I know its not easy being with me, I know what you went through and that is why I never tried anything I always kept my distance leana abech it3rfeen iny 9ij a7ibich o sharech o ma aby shay minich, kil ily aby inich itkoneen greba mny"

I tear escaped my eye.

"Dont you ever shed a tear when I am here"

I leaned in to give him a kiss, it was a long awaited passionate kiss. I kiss that left me light headed, a kiss that left me in a daze, it was the perfect kiss.

"laish your smiling"


"Amout 3la ily yisti7oun, 7uby btnamen 3ndy?"

I looked up at him, and suddenly a mixture of emotions washed over me, Khalid, Ya3goub, the beating, the pain, the never ending tears.

"Jema, baby shfeech?"

I jumped out of his arms, and grabbed my keys and rushed out I sped all the way home I was scared I needed to be home, in bed!

"Jema, shfeech?" Jas called out for me


I locked myself in the room for 2 weeks, Rashed called everyday, every hour for 2 weeks.

"Yuma Jema, aby akalmich shway"

"na3am yuma?"

"Fe wa7id yay e5a6buch"


"Rashed ilflani"

I stayed quiet.

"Yuma intay it7ebina?"

I nodded.

"A5alehum eyoun"

I looked up at her. "3dy ana akalma awal?"

"akeed yuma"

Calling Rashody
"7beebty? Jema is that you baby?"

"ee baby its me"

"3ash mn sim3 9outich I was so worried, ana ma adree ish9ar bs ana asif 7beebty"

"3shat ayamik...agdar ashofik?"

"akeed Jema wain taben?"

We decided on a destination and a time. He stood up when he saw me and walked up to me and embraced me in a heartfelt hug.

"I missed you so much!"

I looked up at him with tears in my eyes.

"Laish ya b3d galby, ana I told you ina you will never shed a tear with me!"

"I love you Rashed, and I do want to be your wife but lazem you promise me you will never hurt me please Rashed I cannot take it anymore I just want to be with you"

"I would never Jema, ana abech ana sharech lmn e5tefaitay matadren sh9ar feny yanait o kalamt ahaly 3shan ya56ibonich....ishrayich imwafga?"

"Of course Rashody!"

"Ya b3d 3umry intay 3sa raby e5alech ly inshalah"

March 2, 2009

Fantasy part 10

"JEMA!!!" Jas shrieked

"Ya 7beebty, laish il9ra5?"


"shfeekum" Bader yelled

"Mish3al wants to marry me"

"Mabrooook 7beebty, he is such a great man I am so happy for you" I really was

"Ha? uhwa yabech intay? bs intay wayed 9'3era, uhwa wayed akbar minich" Bader interogated

"Its about 10 years, its not so bad b3dain he is a great man I am not going to miss out on this"

"La, mako zawaj ana mo ra'6y b3dain ilmafrou'6 ya5ith Jema mo intay, she needs a break, she needs a good man!"

"Bader, that is not how it works he likes Jas, alah ehanehim inshalah you should be happy our baby sister is marrying a doctor"

"Sorry, Jas ma kan ga9dy 7beebty, mabrook"

I was happy, thrilled for my sister and Mish3al, but at he same time I could not help but feel jealous not because of whom she was with just because she was settled with a good man, honest, real, loving, caring and most importantly a real man. I know she can rely on him, and that he would never hurt her and to be honest that is all I cared about.

Meanwhile, Rashed and I were taking it one day at a time say the least. I know he worked for the police force and that he would never hit me, hurt me, or abuse me in any way but I wanted to be cautious my body might be able to handle it but my mind just couldnt, not anymore.

"Hala Jema, shlonich?"

"il7imdilah, inta shlonik? RASHED" he took off his hat and he had a black eye

"Ismilah 3laich, shfeech 7beebty?"

I automatically stood up and hugged him while he was sitting down, I do not know what got into me but I kissed his black eye. He looked up at me with his loving, caring deep black eyes.

"It5afeen 3ly?"

"Akeed I do, Rashed how can you ask me that"

He pulled me down into his lap, and we were locked in a mesmerizing stare, I was lifted out of my soul into another relm where it was Rashed and I alone.

"7beebty, breathe omy intay"

"I dont think I can, you have that effect on me"

"7beebty intay, Jema baby"

"Yes Rashody"


I looked down, and he placed his hand under my chin and pulled it up, our eyes interlocked.

"I will never hurt you, ana athba7 nafsy before I see you cry"




2 months later was their formal engagement party, they were to stay engaged until she finished her second year at University. Something I was looking forward to espeically since we had a few classes together.

Fantasy part 9

I was in a daze throughout the summer, I hardly left the house and as much as I needed my time alone to think, I was grateful my family, and Mish3al surrounded me.

"So James?" (my new nickname given to me by none other than the hottie doctor)

"Yes Mike?" (his new nicknames given to him by me)

"I saw its about time you headed out of your imprisonment and faced the world, shrayich?"

"Um, ily tshoufa Mish3al"

"La, ana aby ily ery7ich...itha intay mirta7a 3la hal wa'63 then by all means stay in, but sooner or later you are going to have to leave your haven and face the world"

To be frank, I was scared out of my skin from facing the world, as you have noticed I havent been so lucky with my life. I knew I was never street smart, but the whole incident with Ya3goub proved just how senseless I was. I agreed to go out with the family, I was not ready to see my friends. We headed over to Taal at Bidi3. And yes, Mish3al was with us.

"Badoory, till when is Mish3al planning on hanging out ma3ana?"

"You dont like him?"

"Mo 3n, bs I mean dont you find it awkward that he is constantly around the house and the family?"

"You dont remember? Plus I think he wants you"

"What, what happened?"

"Mo wagta al7een, agoulich lmn inrid il bait okay?"

Not my memory rellapsing...what was his story? Did he tell me his story?


"yuma alah e5alech lat5aleny bro7y ma3aha, i5theny ma3ach"

"Mish3al, ishfeek 3la Ranleen?"

"Walla kila she hits me and touches me, yuma alah e5alech wadeny ma3ach bait yady walla ma az3ijich, ma agoul wla kilma 7u6ny bl '3urfa o giflay 3lay, lat5aleny ma3aha"

Mish3al was an only son with parents that knew nothing about him, his mother's first priority was to be seen in the latest and he finest, and his father lived his own life in the diwanya. Mish3al was home alone, day in and day out with the house maids and his driver, his driver was the only male figure in his life. The parents never took him anywhere to see anyone or meet anyone. All he had was himself, his materialistic positions and his imagination, and what an imagination he had. Ranleen was the house nanny, she enjoyed beating him up every now and then, and since she knew the parents would never be as attentive as to look under his clothes for proof of her abuse she was at ease. Lately, not only has she been beating him up, she has been touching him, nothing sexual just touching him and threatening to chop off his genitals if he ever showed his parents his bruises. At age 10 his parents came home to a mute son. He just stopped talking, for 3 years Mish3al said nothing, he was a smart boy he went to school, listened to his teachers and aced everything excpet the oral part.

He never told anyone what had happened. Meeting my family and feeling at ease with them was his second chance at having a normal childhood with normal and caring parents. He never over stepped his bounderies or his stay but he made it a habbit to pass by every few days. My parents saw him as potential husband for me, little did they know he had his eye on my sister, Jas who at the time of my accident was 18.

Summer rolled in and out in a flash of an eye, and before I knew it the semester was starting. Physically all the changed about my appearance is the amount of weight I lost, a scar on my lip and one on my right cheek, other than that I looked fine. My friends were told the accident story and having the scars just proves it. As much as I was fearing being out in the world, I enjoyed my freedom away from everyone.

I had to stay late on campus one day to work on something, and by the time I was done it was already dark outside. I took out my car keys and my phone and hurried on to my car, it was a long walk and for some peculiar reason I was not at ease, I kept looking over my shoulder. I knew someone was watching me, I felt his presence. Just as I was about to shut my car door.




"Ya3goub please wa5er 3ny, you shouldnt be here"

"3yal wain? Prison?"

My heart was racing, I quickly scanned the parking lot hoping, praying someone would show up, anyone.

"9adgeny mafy a7ad '3airy, you know you really turned out to be a stupid stupid girl, ma adree shloun ahalich trust you to be alone"

"please, let me go.." I managed to say in between my tears.

I turned to my left to look at him, all I saw was his fist. He carried me out of my car and threw me in the backseat of his escalade. I woke up soar, and not from my head injury, I saw him drivig, I slowly tried to lift my head up, but everything was a blur to me.

3 hours later I woke up to find myself in a bed, in an unknown room, in the far corner a man sat there eying me.

"Ana wain? please 5alony arou7!!"

The man ran over to me and covered my mouth with his hand, I have always heard in movies that you see your life flash by you when you know you are about to die. All I saw flashing in front of me were my failurea, I wanted to die. No human deserves to go through what I have been through, I was a good person, yes maybe not as wise as others, or as smart as others and definitely not as lucky as others, all I could think about was my sister and Mish3al and how I am ready to go through all of this, to die, just so she would never feel harm in her life.

"Jema, please sm3eny, ya3goub nayem in the next room and if he hears you we wont be able to go, nod if you understand kalamy"

I slowly nodded, trying to fight back my tears.

"Ismy Rashed, Ya3goub thinks im helping him, bs il9ar7a im helping you, I am going to try and sneak you out bs you need to be extra quiet leana if he hears us intay ily ra7 taklenha, 9adgeny il wald mo 9a7y"

I just looked at Rashed, I could not help but feel at ease in his presence, his eyes were consoling, comforting, something I needed right now. Yes, I did not know him, and yes he could have been lying but right now what were my options. Him.

"Jema, fhamty ily glta?"

"Ee Rashed"

He smiled.

"Yala, ta3aly"

He took my hand, and peeped out of the door and listened for Ya3goubs snoring, he then pulled me slowly down the stairs and out of the door. We ran to his car and drove off. He kept looking at his rear view mirror, he drove a truck and we were worried the engine might have awakened Ya3goub.

"Ra7 agi6ich baitkum o barou7 3nd ilshur6a"

"They wont do anything"

"Dont worry about that, intay are you okay your clothes are covered in blood, did he touch you?"

I quickly examined my body and found some bruises and cuts, one on my head and one across my thighs.

"5ala9 3yal awadech il mustashfa, kalmay ahalich let them meet us"

I looked at him, what did he expect me to tell my parents? My messed up ex boyfriend, the one who use to drug me for sex, beat me up, raped me, dragged me to his shalaih and now his "friend" rescued me? Replaying that in my mind gave me shivers. Rashed pulled me in closer to him, and wrapped his arms around me. I rested my head on his chest and fell asleep.


We needed to catch him but I didnt want an innocent girl to be the victim of his heinous acts. I called him in, and he should be arrested by now. How could he have done that to her, she looks like an angel, so delicate so fragile. Mashalah 3laiha she is strong to have put up with his abuse.

Rashed was in the maba7ith, he was one of the youngest members there and decided to work "under cover" to catch Ya3goub in the middle of his actions, and maybe catch his drug dealer, I was the victim in this, thats not what they hoped for but it had happened.

3 months later

Ya3goub was trialed and locked up, my parents were still oblivous to the truth and for once I felt at ease.

1 message received +96599******
I was wondering if you do me the honor of letting me take you out to dinner.

Sorry, who is this?

1 message received +96599******
Rashed ilX--

I would love to.