14

I stomped down the marble steps into the downstairs living room.

Lulu: yes 6alal?

6alal: I need help please.

Lulu: Sure, with what?

6alal: imti7any il3rby bacher, o KILISH mo fahem ildrous!

Lulu: okay lets go to Dad's office where you wont be distracted.

6alal: inzain first bayebly snack, tabeen shay?

Lulu: let them make me warm milk please.

After spending what seemed like endless hours teaching 6alal his Arabic lessons, I could hear the rest of the gang downstairs, which could only mean one thing. The men were hungry!

a7mad: ana, f9ail o 3lwy bnrou7 ilshalaih 3nd 7mani, 6alool ibteyey?

6alal: La ana ba6la3 ma3a 7mado

Lulu: okay have fun, o 7u6aw balkum 3la nafskum!

Each brother kissed me on the cheek before stepping out, and I headed up to my little brother.

Lulu: so the army abandoned you?

Marzouq: naah 3ndy my baby sis I dont need them.

Lulu: okay 3yal what do you want to eat, I will send Camy to bring us something.

Marzouq: Mishtehy the Saint louis min Johnny Rockets ma3a chili cheese fries

Lulu: you read my mind

I went downstairs to inform the driver. He has been with us since 3lawi was born, he was more than just the driver he watched us grow up, he practically raised us! I included extra burgers for him and for the 2 nannies.

I went up to Marzouq's room and popped Transformers into the DVD player, it was his favorite movie. We enjoyed our burgers, and we both managed to fall asleep, and once again I woke up to my vibrating phone. I hated phones that rung, they annoyed me.

Lulu: aloo

3bdullah: ana kil ma adig 3laich nyma?

Lulu: I am like a hibernating bear.

3bdullah: noum il3wafi, inzain sweetie I am sorry but I wont be able to make coffee ra7 a6la3 ma3a 3mour ok?

Lulu: I forgot they were cousins. Ee of course its okay, have fun.

3bdullah: ishfeech bt9ikina ?

Lulu: oh, I am sorry I thought the conversation was over. (You could tell I was new at this)

3bdullah: hahah I wanna ask you something.

Lulu: sure, if its not too embarrassing.

3bdullah: Am I your first?

Lulu: my first what?

3bdullah: your first anything?

I needed the perfect come back, something that will show him how much I am giving up and letting go of for him

Lulu: you are my first everything!

3bdullah: 9ij 7beebty?

There goes the mushiness again.

Lulu: ee, um 3boody

That was all I could come up with.

3bdullah: ya b3d 3umry walla, inzain ana a5alech al7een bs mo tinsainy all day

Lulu: inshalah

3bdullah: bye 7beebty

Lulu: bye..

I just couldn't do it. Its like walking, I needed baby steps before I was fully confident to cross the room, or in this case to be mushy.

It was 8 and I was bored. I wanted to do something. I needed to make things right with Shosho, so I called her up and asked her if she wanted to come over. She agreed but asked me if I wanted to head over to chocolate bar to grab a variety of cupcakes. She had me at chocolate.

I went up to check on Marzouq he was fast asleep. I did not want to leave him home alone, but we should not be gone for long. I wore a green dress, with my metallic ballerinas, my hair was still int he messy pony tail. I put on a thin line of the eye linear, and mac's lip glass gloss. You never knew who you might bump in to at chocolate bar.

She honked to let me know she had arrived, I rushed down the flight of stairs and told the nannies that I would be back soon, and asked them to keep an eye on Marzouq.

I missed my best friend, I loved being around her. We took the long way to chocolate bar just to spend more time together. We parked in Marina and headed upstairs to pick up the order we had placed moments ago.

There he was.

Looking better than the last time I saw him, which was not a long time ago.

I experienced something else for the first time.

Guilt.