Lulu: 7yatiee inta shh, dont speak please lets just sit here, together.
3bdullah: Inshalah 7beebty.
We stayed there.
I stayed there holding the love of my life, the man that completed me, in my arm, while he was lifeless.
I just held him. I was all cried out. I was beyond numb. My nerves were shattered.
I sat there for 3 hours before Fai9al walked in.
He looked at me, then down at 3bdullah. He pulled out his phone and called for the right arrangements.
Everything was black. All I heard were sirens. All I felt was his lips.
3bdullah: a7bich, amout feech, please dont leave me 7beebty please wala I need you, I will die without you!
Lulu: I am not going anywhere, I promise you, I will stay by your side. I want to be your wife, I want to be the mother of your child.
3bdullah: One day, inshalah one day we will be together. 7beebty promise me something, promise me one thing
3bdullah: Dont forget me, please dont forget me.
Lulu: 3BDULLAH, 3BDULLAH, 3BOOOOODY.....7beeby
Mama: smilah 3laich 7beebty, mama 5ala9 its been a year lain mita wntay 3la hal 7al....la illah ilah allah!
I felt my mothers tears, I felt her pain. That was the only thing I felt. The only thing I would feel for 2 years.
It took me 2 years to get back into the world.
2 years to see people.
2 years to talk.
It took me 4 years to talk about him to all of you.
It will take a lifetime before I could forget him.
I meet his parents every Monday for lunch.
His clothes are still in my closet.
His smile is still in my every dream.
He bought me a land next to his parents, he bought me a house next to my parents, he left me his shalaih, he left me his will.
Even though it seems like he left me everything to help me get over him, I am still missing the most important thing.
My baby, my 3bdullah.
He changed my life. I became alive when I was with him, even through the hard times I knew what my purpose was in life.
Now I am lost, walking around like a lifeless human. I lost my purpose.
I find myself locked up in my bedroom every night having conversations with him in my head. I sleep in his clothes, I drive his car, I sleep in his bed.
If I could spend one more day with him it would be the day I would marry him, or the day I find out I am pregnant with his baby. Actually, I wont be that selfish I just one more day in his arms.
I opened my heart.
And I lost.
Thank you all for allowing me to share my life with you.
This is been the hardest thing I have done in my life, harder than loosing him.
If you could take one thing out of this, please dont be afraid to fall in love, dont be afraid to open your heart life is too short. Being afraid will get you no where, take chances and embrace life.
Please, live for me. I dont have it in me to smile, or to be happy.
So please do it for me.
but time heals all.
4 months ago