"I..I..ive been divorced for over 6 months, I dont need the pill" I manged to mumble
"Okay, okay shofay Fawaz is not here so you take mine, o ana I will go to my doctor on Sunday for more okay?"
"Shfeech your shaking, emshay lets get you into a hot shower"
She lead me to the master bathroom, and undressed me. I was shaking, I could not look straight.
"Why are you covered in bruises?"
I looked down at my body to find multiple bruises dispersed all over.
"What happened Jema? Ishsawa feech?"
"I..I..i dont remember, all I know is he forced himself on me...I think...I dont know... I dont remember" in tears
"Okay 7beebty, wash up and I will bring you some fresh clean clothes and some mint teat"
I scrubbed my body once, twice, three times. I could not get him off my skin, but at the same time I wanted his smell on my body, I needed to know what happened last night, everything is a blur to me. I stepped out of the steamy shower put on the purple robe laid out for me and headed over to the bed. I wanted to sleep.
"ilnas egoloun 9ba7 il5air, 7beebty wain in7ishtay I woke up o you were gone"
"Ya3goub what do you want from me, 5ala9 leave me alone"
"Shfeech Jema, baby where is this coming from?"
"YOU FORCED YOURSELF ON ME"
"Hahhaha, tita3bi6ain 9a7? nisaitay what happened ams?"
"you asked me to, you told me you were divorced and we went to bed and we were cuddling, o faj2ah you told me o s2altch akeed o you said ee b3dain you know"
"dont lie, ya3goub please dont lie"
"Haa, shako I lie Jemo I would never force you to do anything you dont want baby I love you, and I want to marry you"
"men never marry their girlfriends especially if he slept with her"
"ana shako feehum intay 7beebty o 3mury o ana abeech"
"I need to be alone"
"3la ra7tich, im here for you"
what was happening to me..i really do not recall what happened yesterday, everything is fuzzy to me...what really happened....why cant i remember....is he lying to me..is he being honest.....who should I believe....did I really initiate it?
"Jema, 7beebty we are having lunch come join us"
"The girls dont know"
I got up and headed back into the bathroom to get ready, thankfully there were no bruised on my face just on my torse and upper thighs and upper arms. I looked at my reflection trying to unwind yesterdays events, then it hit me like a meteor.
"ana a7ibich" he said
"yala baby lets go to bed" I answered
I headed into the bathroom to slip into my night gown, I brushed my teeth and lathered up in my vanilla scented body lotion. I then slid into bed with him where we cuddled and kissed.
"I want to sleep next to you forever"
"You want to sleep next to me, not with me?"
"That comes later 7beebty"
"You dont want it now? Ma tebeny?"
"Abeech, min awal youm shftich wna mishtehech"
That is as far as I remember...what did I do? what does he think...I bet he thinks I do this with every man...why cant I remember...is something wrong with me?...I need to go to the doctor...but first.
"were we safe?"
"ams, were we safe when..."
"Ugh if your asking me itha I wore a condom I didnt, but I was careful"
"Later not now, bye"
Something is wrong with me, I can feel it. I noticed my memory has not been on full throttle lately but I blamed it on school work, but for me to blank out of something major like that.
What is wrong with me?
4 months ago